Forsaken but not Forgotten | Psalm 22

In my first year as a single-mom, I wore betrayal almost like a pageant participant would wear a banner. That was not my intention, but in hindsight I’m sure that’s how I appeared. Only very close friends knew the details of how our marriage ended.  But walking into public spaces with two little girls in tow surely evoked sympathy from onlookers. I didn’t mind it. I had been left and now it was the 3 of us facing the world.

I’ve long been a fan of Psalm 22 for the range of emotions David shares. He starts off with a burst of anger, much like I did in my early days of being single-again:

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
    Why are you so far from saving me,
    so far from my cries of anguish?
 My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
    by night, but I find no rest. 

Very quickly though, David remembers who he’s talking to, and recalls how God has delivered his ancestors:

Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
    you are the one Israel praises.
 In you our ancestors put their trust;
    they trusted and you delivered them.
To you they cried out and were saved;
    in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

If we stay in Christian community during our times of feeling abandoned, it’s difficult to stay stuck in our pity party, right? Singing songs of worship and hearing the spoken Word week after week will keep us tethered to the God who remains when others leave. For me, this was a critical part of my growth through this painful season.

It was less than a year into singleness that I found myself kneeling at the altar and confessing sins of pride and unforgiveness. I don’t remember the sermon topic or scripture from that day, only how I felt humbled to be in the presence of God. Perhaps that’s how David felt, because his next verses are ones of contrition:

But I am a worm and not a man,
    scorned by everyone, despised by the people.
All who see me mock me;
    they hurl insults, shaking their heads.

I didn’t go so far as to call myself a worm, but I remember the tears streaming down my face during that altar call and will never forget the peace that came afterwards. Interestingly, It is after David’s self-denigration where he remembers who he really is.

Yet you brought me out of the womb;
    you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast.
From birth I was cast on you;
    from my mother’s womb you have been my God.

This simple progression from anger> remembering> humbling> redefining is the way forward for us precious ones! God is big enough to handle our anger, but we can’t stay stuck there. We have to remember what He has already done for us and then humble ourselves in light of who He is. Finally, we have to redefine who we are as His children.  Only then can we walk into our true identity as a daughter of the King.

Which stage are you in? Allow yourself to be angry if you’ve suppressed it. Just don’t stay stuck there. Remember who He is and what He has done for you. Repent for any actions or attitudes holding you back. Then He will give you a new name and a new identity. Aren’t you ready for a clean start? He is waiting…